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He promised her to meet at eight

A tryst, he’d said, upon the gate.

She scans the trees

And then the sky

But no pigeons flying by

She tweaks a feather here and there

Oh she is a pigeon-fair

He really should appreciate

The luck he had

To get this date!

A glance around, he’s not in sight

Not good enough! And just not right!

He did that dance

All puffed and proud

And billed & cooed

So very loud

She had been certain it was love

He must have dumped her

for that dove!

The fickle sod was just a poser

Just when she was sure

he chose her

But here! Her beau arrives at last!

Slicked-back plumage

Landing fast

Quick as quick she looks right haughty

Mustn’t let him

Think she’s naughty

He talks her round with velvet coos

And words d’amour

he starts to use

My little Pee-jun, honey-bun

How about

a bit of fun?

She listens to his song of love

He didn’t want that

fat old Dove!

It’s her he fancies, now she’s sure

So let’s get on

with that … amour!

 

It’s pigeon passion!

Lots of necking

After that some gentle pecking

Surely now she’s in the mood?

He hopes she’s not

a pigeon prude!

(or he’ll have to find that fat old dove again)

Now she’s convinced he isn’t fickle

She’ll let him have

some slap & tickle

Her body language tells him Yes!

He doesn’t need

to try and guess

But what is this? He’s started preening!

Has he completely

missed her meaning?

She says: ‘Excuse me! If you please

What about the birds

and bees?’

 

Like a bird upon a mission

He quickly gets

into position

Are you ready ma cherie?

he cries

with great alacrity

 

A blur of feathers then ensues

Accompanied by

bills and coos

Now watching pigeons having sex

must be rated

Triple-X!

Afterwards she’s acting shy

He puffs and preens

A classic guy!

She ponders nests and lasting love

But somewhere near …

I hear a dove …

The author wishes to confirm that although on one occasion the photographer’s camera lens steamed up, no pigeons were embarrassed in the making of this story. 

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