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Merry Christmas to all you bloggers and bikers. I wrote this many years ago and thought I might dig it out again.


T’was the night before Christmas

And up in the sky

Santa is panicking

Rudolph can’t fly!!!

He’s sprained both his wings

And he’s white as a sheet

And nothing will fix it

Not even Deep-Heat.


I need a bright light’

Cried Santa; frustrated,

Then: ‘ I can use that!’

His tone was elated.

Twas a present that he

Was supposed to deliver,

He looked and he stared

And he started to quiver!


A wondrous machine

All purple and black,

Twin silver exhausts

But no luggage rack?

For years he’d dreamed

Of owning a bike,

Fast roads and freedom

And speed and the like.


In a very few seconds

He was sitting astride,

He started the engine,

Prepared for the ride

Then he threw it in gear

And raced through the sky

Skidding round clouds

On the ultimate high.


Roaring back to the sleigh

On the grand GSX

He was heard to exclaim

This is better than sex!’

He piled the presents

And all of the toys

In a huge great big heap

For the girls and boys

On the back of the bike

In a pile so tall

All the reindeer swore

They were going to fall!


But Santa knew bikes

And he said, ‘Wanna bet?’

And Hey-Presto! … he magic’d

A fine cargo net.

That net, well it just

Seemed to stretch on forever,

The reindeer thought

It was terribly clever.


Rudolph was sad

And of humour devoid,

He could see himself soon

Joining those unemployed

Said Santa, ‘Don’t worry

Old Rudy my pal,

The bike is a present

For some biker-gal.

Her name, well it’s Jude

And she’ll think she’s in bliss,

Cos next year she will be

Touring on this!


Off then he zoomed

On the roaring machine.

A fat little man with his eyes all a-gleam

He did all the rounds

And made his last call

To drop off the bike

At the end of Jude’s hall

Then he gazed at that bike,

And he whispered, ‘I like her!

How I wish I could be

A born again biker!